The fine art of bumper sticker reading! Isn't it grand? I can't even recall how many "almost" wrecks have happened because we are trying to read the small print on a bumper that ends up saying, "If your reading this your too close, get ready for a nose full of asslead"! My child looks at me rather dubiously, "Does that say what I think it says?" inquires the, at that time, nine-year-old manchild. "Yep," I reply. "What an insult!" he responds, "Are you going to tell?" I would looooove to go tell on the car driver/idiotic slogan slapper onner, but to whom do I tell?
Some of the all time guarantee to irritate bumper stickers are NRA stickers: Guns don't kill, people kill. Or My idea of gun control is using both hands to keep it steady. And, not necessarily NRA but many people with NRA also display this bumper sticker: IF GOD DIDN'T WANT US TO EAT ANIMALS, HE WOULDN'T HAVE MADE 'EM OUT OF MEAT!
I haven't quite figured out if bumper stickers of the cars in Clatsop County show the real mindset of its residents, what they want others to think about them or were just left on the auto from the previous owner. BITCHY WHEN PROVOKED and BITCH WITHOUT A CAUSE. Are these really statements I want people to know about myself? I think they just have to be examples of real laziness, not wanting to strip them off the old car. However, it still means someone, sometime, somewhere put that bumper sticker there. Maybe a vengeful ex?
There's the obvious Clatsop resident: Friends Don't Let Friends Eat Farmed Salmon Support your local commercial fisherman and Spotted owl tastes like chicken. But then there's the people who doesn't know who they are. They have a Save a logger, shoot an owl right along the side of a sticker reading Equal Rights for ALL Species. Visualize Whirled Peas rests atop America, Right or Wrong. I'm confused. Do I like the people at the stop light in front of me or don't I? Do I wave at the tot giving me the the semi-blow-your-horn signal or do I pretend I don't see him? For God's sake, people! If you don't understand the purpose of a bumper sticker, don't put it on your vehicle! How are you going to make new friends? Reaffirm old ones? Sheeeesh, there's responsibilities here!
I'm not sad about losing my mind, I'm enjoying every minute of it!
5 comments:
I lived in Marin right as the war was starting up--How I wish I'd had kept track of the bumper stickers there at that time. It was quite the catalog of sentiment, both the stickers and the cars, of the time and it would have made a great retrospective.
And, BAD WENDE, but the Owl tastes like chicken made me laugh. BAD BAD, Wende.
snicker, snicker
Me too, but whose telling? Oh yeah, me! But I still haven't found who to tell.
Hey! I hope you are coming out to our little blog meet up this afternoon? I'd love to meet you! :D (3 pm at Astoria Coffee on 11th)
I was there where was everyone?
I don't know who anon is, but three of us were there...:D Missed you. Perhaps next year.
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