Wading in the Shallow End of Humanity

Sometimes, the shallowness of my own self appalls me. I really wanted to be emotional about this inauguration. It is a big deal. It is a historic moment. It does mean things have dramatically changed and whether or not one agrees or disagrees that this was the man to do it, we have finally progressed to the point where a black man in the white house is a reality.

Saying that does bring a sense of awe to my mind. And I think, later, after many years go by, this will have been an historic moment. Yet, watching it unfold on Tuesday I could only feel a glimpse of it here and there. I saw a child of about nine or ten in the crowd along the parade route suddenly overcome with emotion and bury his head in his hands. A sob of pride?

Of course, we were watching it via ESPN, so it was sports announcers giving commentary and one of the sport people they were interviewing said that when he was going to school a white teacher would say, "You live in America, you know how great that is? You can be anything, even the president." And he thought, "not us!" and how that is now changed. Black children can really believe they can be anything.

Hearing that story I felt something, but when the camera would flash back to the live action I felt nothing. A part of me was anxious. I did fear that a shot was going to ring out. The trust Obama has in the men in black is something I don't have. The fanfare was so remote, almost the way Christmas felt this year. As if it was something one just had to do to get on to something else. You wanted it to be good, and people to enjoy it and be happy but you didn't feel connected to it.

Grandson K loves his new president. Calls him "Rocko Bama". He knows Rocko's wife's name but not his daughters. "That's okay, their kinda old" he said. "I probably won't see them at school". Ya' think?

What startled me the most, and here shows me swimming in the shallowest pools of humanity, in all of the hallaballoo over Obama, in keeping NCO updated and doing my own research, the thing that rocked my boat was coming across the evidence that .....


I am older than the President of the United States of America. WHAT? When? How? Why? Someone younger than me is making decisions regarding the fate of, virtually, the entire world??? If he pushes "that" button, that could be it! I look at my hubby, and God love him for all of his virtues, but he is a pup! And he has seen a lot of the world and done a lot of stupid things and learned a lot from his mistakes but you and I both know he's going to be making a whole heck of a lot more. And Obama? Has he made enough MISTAKES to have learned well from them?

I mean, I am kinda old, but not really. When someone is in the drivers seat of the world, don't you want them to be experienced, don't you want the testing "why don't we try this?" "what the hell!" phase to be over? I think I am hyperventillating. What were people thinking about? They want CHANGE? Constant change or consistent change? AAACK!

I am older than the president! Maybe that is a good thing? Maybe, suddenly, youth have gotten smarter? Or is middle age just older? He still has children in grade school, for cripes sake! Okay, several friends of ours still have children in grade schoool. But, can you make rational decisions when the teacher is griping at you that your spending more time with the pentagon than with your daughter on her math homework and therefore she probably is going to hate science when she hits high school and its all your fault? Or will Michelle take the hit for all of that? And, honestly, do I care?

Random thought: I wonder what would have happened had Michelle announced she would prefer to homeschool? Crap, I'm older than the first lady, too.

Is there anyone old around these people? Whew, there's Hilary, and Biden is almost 20 years older. No, not much age but a lot of travel. His team of advisers has travelled the globe, many of them raised outside of the United States. Their view of how the world sees the US definately shaped from the outside in. Will it be enough?

Will how you lived be enough instead of how long you've lived? Will learning from others mistakes be enough, rather than learning from your own? Will taking responsibility for others actions be acceptable and will you have enough room to be able to take the blame for your own actions as well?

And all the while that I watched and think all of these thoughts I am still so shallow and vain. I would never have thought forty-eight hours would mean so much.