Strikes Rescinded

When my children were teenagers they had a variety of friends. Since we homeschooled you would think we had a little bit more control over who they "associated" or were "affiliated" with. Yeah, right! What we found is that we had more control over the friends than we did over our children.

Friends can be sent home. Your own children can pout for days, teenagers can pout for years. Half the time you don't even know what they're pouting about. How can you win? Through their friends. If the friend is the one that wants the fun thing to happen (the camping trip during school days, the trip to Portland, the sleepovers so they use your widescreen dvd projector and eat your food) they're the ones that will keep your kids in line.

We told the friends they got three strikes. On the third strike they were OUT! Out of our home for six months. And we followed through. Never once did one of the friends get a third strike and get leniency because of who they were or any special tie to the family. Eldest's best friend (who later became our fifth child) got a third strike and we didn't see her for six months. We still hear about that!

You could only get a third strike for one thing. Deception. You were not allowed to deceive us. If you said you all were going to the movies but you went to a friends house and no phone call was made everyone in the group got a strike. WOW! The kids all were told to call us and FAST when plans were changed. We would even get calls from guys saying they weren't sure if any of the girls had remembered to call but they had decided to go over to John's house instead of Steven's and they were next-door neighbors!

Those were the days! All too soon the girls (mind you we had four all the same age) were meeting guys who weren't so cooperative and the last thing they cared about were camping trips with the family and movies on the widescreen. Lovable TH was the bane of our existence with Hubby making at least one early morning call down a muddy farm lane to yank two daughters out of a house. TH - Your strikes were MUCHO! And you wondered where your months of banishment came from?

One of the girls friends recently told us that she had two strikes on her and it still fills her with fear at what would have happened to her if she had received that third one. Her eyes actually welled up! Now, mine do too. I told her, all you had to do was "don't lie"! She said, "That's just not as easy as you say, especially when you're a teenager!" But, she's still afraid!

To one of our daughters' dearest friends: You did something today for me and only you know how great it really was! You are the only one of our children's friends who has ever told us how dear those strikes were to you. You are in control of your life now and forever. For the first time in the history of the family I decree, "Your strikes have all been rescinded." Don't let our strikes be your guide, let your conscience. We love you, trust you, believe in you. Believe in yourself.