One of the problems I have with sharing my own life in writing is that it involves the sharing of other lives, often without their permission. At what point do I "own" the right to do that? At what point is it gossip? These thoughts do bother me. I try to write vaguely about my family, unless of course they are deceased (lol) and are thinking only the best about me and my intentions, anyways (grin).
Recently, one of the most precious gems in my life told a story in which I am decidedly the villain. Twenty-something angst? Who knows, maybe I am a bit of a villain, which of us are pure? But for the first time in my life someone I deeply care about has a decidedly negative viewpoint of me and our relationship. It hurts for now though I know we will get past it.
So, how to tell one's stories? I am going to share something in which I will use first names. I do apologise ahead of time if I offend and people are welcome to start or add to their own blogs for their side of the story!
My teen job wasn't the typical one. No fast food restuarant, wait tables or maid work. My paper route and babysitting days were behind me (WOW, those stories maybe later). My first, take taxes out, job was as a "gym supervisor". I "watched" the gym in the evenings up at Astoria Junior High (now middle school) as adults cavorted through basketball for half of the year and volley ball the other half of the year with a three month break for softball, at which time I umpired the youth leagues.
It was here that I learned who was "running" my city and my county. They were really a hairy group of people, men and women alike! I saw the teams that "worked" versus the teams that didn't. The ones that had a great time just being together and the ones that were only together for the win. Yeah, they were the elite and nobody could touch them, but then again no one wanted to!
From watching these teams work with and against one another I went on to coach three sports for a combined total of 27 seasons. Some winning, some loosing. I spoke the hype. TEAMWORK! And it is about teamwork. Teaching people to recognize who the leader is, teaching the leader to work with their team, teaching the team to follow the leader and protect the leader. One of the reasons why certain people fight to keep sports in schools. I homeschooled. I do not coach any more. Only one of my children was ever involved in sports. Another time, another post.
At the gym I was fifteen years old and one of my "idols" was a young man recently out of university and paying off his student loans by taking on every refereeing job he could get. To his horror he ended up often refereeing with a rather swarthy man whose shirt was open down to his navel so he could display his chest that often had a small silver spoon entangled in the coarse hairs!
During time outs the young man would sit on the score table and talk with me as I ran the clock and score book, telling me about his goal to become the district attorney, to "clean up" the messes created by ... and a gesture at his refereeing partner . I would talk about my dreams and goals. He influenced my decision to take Latin in high school and as many other courses as Astoria had to prepare me for the future I thought I wanted. He was remarkable. It was 1977 and he was going places and I could always proudly say I knew him when. If I planned it right, just as I finished university I might have a place to work.
About a decade later the goals had dramatically changed for me. I had already had a divorce, two children and Hodgkin's Disease. The young man had indeed become the district attorney and my heart had been broken with many of the decisions he had made, jading me towards the legal profession. When I have had the time to reflect on it, I wonder if he even remembers that teenage girl who he helped plan high school courses with or if he cares how the decisions he made as a District Attorney influenced her life?
Then I think, how many lives around me have I influenced or affected? Do the decisions I make, however much I think are my own business, ripple out to many? Or, am I just a bit player in someone else's drama? Am I a leader or a follower? Don't the actions of the followers often outweigh those of the leaders? There's more of them.
There, I did it without a single name. I just bet no one could figure anyone out, either! (snicker)
